You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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