The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
