never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
