Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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