Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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