At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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