That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
