Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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