I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
