try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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