I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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