we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
