No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
only you would photoshop your dick
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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