Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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