He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
