You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
