We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
