We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
