yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
