Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Never underestimate the power of titties
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
