What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
