how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
