i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
