I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
