i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
