Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
