I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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