are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
