I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
