What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
