so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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