and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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