id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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