A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
