He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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