so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
