Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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