I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
