I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
