It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
