i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
