he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
