Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
