Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
