Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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