My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
