she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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