So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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