Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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