What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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