Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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